Conflict Resolution: Therapy Activities!

Updated 4/2024

March is a great month for working on conflict resolution skills (compromise, I messages and more) with your middle school and high school students. Navigating a conflict involves a variety of skills, including listening, emotional regulation, problem-solving, communication, and the ability to compromise, to name a few.

The ability to successfully resolve conflict depends on your ability to manage stress quickly while remaining calm. When you are calm, you can accurately read and interpret verbal and nonverbal communication. Why work on conflict resolution with middle and high school students during speech sessions? The skill of conflict resolution involves effective communication and problem-solving skills! Good communication is the key to resolving conflicts!

Give me 5! Steps to Conflict Resolution

Introduce the topic with this video to use with middle school or younger high school students: Conflict to resolution in 4 steps by Rocketkids. It is 3:53 long and narrated by a middle school student named “Elvis” and shows images primarily of elementary and middle school children. He uses simple language and recommends these steps (with some additions and modifications from me) to resolving conflicts:

1. Stop and recognize your emotions. When we are calm, it’s easier to interpret verbal and nonverbal communication. If we are not successful in regulating our emotions, the next steps will be a challenge!
2. Watch your words. Use nice words in a calm voice. Avoid put-downs, mean comments and blaming. His advice of “be nice” might seem simplistic but he’s right, “no-one can be mad at nice.”
3. Listen up. When we are upset, it is hard to listen to someone elses point of view. Try to put yourself in their shoes! Engage in active listening and allow people to speak without interrupting. I would add that during the listening step, be sure to clearly identify the points of disagreement and state the problem.
4. Identify the problem. During a conflict, emotions often run high and sometimes people want to bring up old issues that muddy the waters. Be sure to identify the problem(s) so everyone is on the same page.
5. Find a solution. Try to find the answer that solves the problem. Both parties may need to compromise but everyone should be okay with the solution.

Conflict Resolution Approaches

This YouTube video on conflict and resolution from Montclair YMCA Kids is 3:25 long. It depicts an occurrence of bullying, a common conflict for our middle and high school students, and shows two ways the victim of the bullying handled the situation. In the first scenario, she blows up and loses control of her emotions. In the second scenario, the two girls talk through the situation and the bully apologizes. View the video and then do a Venn diagram comparing and contrasting the two approaches. You can find a free fillable online venn diagram here. You might also have students list the advantages and disadvantages and consequences of each approach.

Compromise can be a big part of conflict resolution!

A great resource is Julia Cook’s picture book, the great compromise!

The author has a read-aloud on youtube if you want to learn more about it!

Conflict Resolution: Social Scenarios!

Conflicts often arise because we have problems that need to be solved! Here are some problem-solving scenarios common to middle and high school students, to choose from to practice conflict resolution skills with your clients or students.

1. You brought a great present for your friend to his birthday party. He didn’t open the present at the party so you have no way of knowing if he liked it. Two months pass and you’ve heard nothing from him. You could send a “so you hated my gift?” text, or what’s a better way to handle this?
2. Your friend bailed on going to the movies with you by saying she had to work. Later you learn she went with someone else. Instead of getting even by posting an insult about her on social media, how could you handle this and still salvage the friendship?
3. A friend posted a photo on social media of you sleeping with your mouth open. You’re angry and embarrassed. How can you handle this conflict?
4. Another student in your online class made a joke at the expense of a student with a disability. Your teacher did nothing in response and you are really angry about it. You’re thinking about going right to the school superintendant but your parents want you to handle it in a different way. What’s another way to resolve this?
5. You are really behind in one of your classes, mostly because you think the class is boring and you dislike the teacher. The more behind you get, the more you avoid doing any work for the class. You are feeling really stressed and anxious about it. What steps could you take to fix this issue?
6. You’ve had a misunderstanding with a classmate where you became angry and blew up at him. Now, you’re being put in a group with him and you know it’s going to be super akward. How can you handle this issue?

Conflict Resolution Full Curriculum

It’s hard to know what to cover when teaching conflict resolution. The material can be complex for some students. My conflict resolution curriculum uses a scaffolded approach with lots of supports for struggling learners! It includes a self-rating, pre-test, scaffolded presentation (more information on scaffolded learning) of the five steps to resolving conflicts, and a deep dive into conflict scenarios. It includes multiple mini-lessons on skills such as compromise, that move students gradually towards a deeper understanding on how to resolve conflicts.

As a result of participating in this conflict resolution curriculum, your students should be able to achieve these learner outcomes!

If you have students who need training on how to handle conflict assertively, you might find this blog post on assertive communication helpful.

Don’t forget-when you sign up for my newletter, here, you’ll get access to my subscriber’s library, (that includes a lesson plan on conflict resolution).